Are you living or just existing? Life gives us 2 choices...
Have you ever felt like you're on a treadmill set to "life" mode that's taking steps away from you without any real progress? (And let's be honest, you're not even burning those metaphorical calories?) I know I have.
There comes a point in many of our lives - especially women - when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Whether we're deciding whether to pursue our career dreams, whether we're choosing to trust our relationship, or whether we're just desperate to get rid of our negative thoughts, we have a major decision to make: live life to the fullest or just exist?
Living vs. existing: At the Crossroads
Existing is easy.
Wake up, go through life, let the weight of expectation and fear of judgment weigh you down, and repeat. Living, on the other hand, requires a heart. It means facing fear, being vulnerable, and saying yes to growth - even when you're dragging yourself tired, latte in hand, while muttering to yourself, "Why did I sign up for this again?"
Fact: Michaela's story
Let me tell you about Michaela. She was the quintessential example of "there is". She woke up, went to work, felt exhausted before coming home, and then collapsed in front of Netflix wondering why she felt empty. And what was the saddest part? Michaela had dreams - big dreams. She wanted to start her own company to help others find their voice. But the "what ifs" and "I'm not good enough" that was on her shoulder kept nagging at her.
One day, Michaela hit a breaking point. A dear friend asked her - with wine in hand, of course: "Girl, are you alive or just biding your time?" This question shook Michaela. Slowly, with determination, and yes, with lots of chocolate to soothe her anxiety, she began to work toward her goal.
Several years later, Michaela is thriving and running her own business. Not every day is full of rainbows and unicorns, but it feels alive - it has meaning, connection, and authenticity.
Tips on how to go from existing to living (with a dash of humor)...
1.Be interested in your "WHY"! You know those questions that plague you and make you feel like you're one sip of coffee away from crying? Ask yourself: "Why am I here?" It's a great question. And if your first answer is "Because I forgot to set my alarm", go deeper. Your "why" is your compass. Maybe it's your children, creative freedom, or becoming the first woman in your family to break the generational cycle. When you know your "why," it's harder to stay in the shadows.
2. Confront the negative Gertrude in your head! Our inner critic is the friend who is always negative, but for some twisted reason, we keep listening to him. Confront these thoughts: "I'm not good enough" becomes "I'm learning every day". "I fail" becomes "If I fail, I learn, and that makes me a badass." (Hint: Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. Unless you're Regina George, work on that, too.)
3. Find the power of small steps! Rome wasn't built in a day nor a purposeful life. Take one small step toward what makes you feel alive. One woman I know started by writing a single blog post (like I once did) after years of dreaming of being a writer. Another friend signed up for a salsa class even though she felt "too old" (she now dances cha-cha-ing like no one is watching). The journey begins with one step, even if it seems wobbly and clumsy.
4. Surround yourself with encouragers, not energy vampires! You know. They'll suck the motivation out of you faster than you can say "I'm trying something new". Instead, find your team of cheerleaders. They may not fully understand your dreams, but they'll believe in you.
5. Laugh, because life is chaotic! There will be times when you feel ridiculous. Crying over burnt toast on a tough day is a rite of passage. Laugh at the absurd. In the moments when you think, "Why is life so hard?", remind yourself: It's because you're living it. No one said living life to the fullest only means candlelit dinners and Instagram sunsets.
Personal note (from you)
In my life, I've been the queen of playing small. The "what ifs" almost consumed me whole, especially when I was considering a career change. But I've learned this: When you're scared, it's usually worth it. Fear means it matters. If you mess something up? You'll have a story to tell. (Like the time I walked into a Zumba instructor class and tripped over my own foot. Twice. But I survived.)
Are you ready to live?
The truth is, life is short. If you're at a crossroads, facing a big decision, or longing for change, ask yourself this question: "Am I living or just existing?" The answer may sting, but it's the spark that can light the way forward.
So go for it!
Take that step. Say yes to growth, to facing fear and laughter and love and everything in between. You deserve more than just existence. You deserve a life that gives you a feeling, a real feeling.
Life is messy, fun, and unpredictable - and isn't that what makes it so amazing?
So which option will you choose?
Have you ever found yourself at a standstill where you weren't sure if you were even breathing? What happened that made you take your courage or destiny into your own hands and decide to really live life to the fullest?
Write me your stories...
