Competitiveness or discipline? How I turned jealousy into motivation and got back on track
You know that feeling when someone posts another big success on social media—securing funding, signing a book deal, launching a viral product, rocking abs, living their "dream life"? Your stomach tightens, your heart skips a beat, and before you know it, you start comparing yourself.
And if you're like me — someone who had to build slowly, patiently, and often painfully — you start asking yourself questions: "Why not me? Why is it always so hard?"
Let's talk about it honestly...
An unfair race that no one signed up for
We live in a world where success can seem instantaneous. The internet loves overnight success stories. But we rarely talk about the 10 years that happen behind the scenes—the hard work, the sacrifice, the doubts, the financial stress, the burnout, the chaotic period in the middle.
And it's not just about career achievements.
Sometimes it hurts even more to watch people who can afford things that seem unattainable to us—spontaneous vacations, weekend getaways, a new car, dinners at restaurants, a "treat yourself" lifestyle.
While some people live in a sense of abundance and security, others—perhaps you, like me—have to count every penny, put off pleasures, or weigh every decision because there is little room for error.
It doesn't make you bitter. But it can wear you down.
I used to envy people who "had it easy." Those who had connections, money, time, or the perfect combination of privileges that allowed them to take big risks and achieve success early on. I used to think, "I'm disciplined. I'm intelligent. I'm reliable. Why do I feel like I'm running in mud while others are sprinting on concrete?"
But jealousy taught me one thing: It's not just about speed. It's about direction.
From comparison to orientation
I started paying attention to what jealousy was actually telling me—not just the unpleasant feeling, but the signal. I realized that I wasn't actually angry at them. I was disconnected from my own path.
I wasn't angry that they were successful. I was angry that I felt so behind.
So I asked myself:
What is it about their success that makes me feel like I'm missing out?
Am I doing my job, or am I trying to compete with their achievements?
Do I even want their life, or just the recognition that comes with it?
This shift was powerful. Instead of sinking into bitterness, I started using these moments of jealousy as wake-up calls. I stopped trying to compete with everyone and started reconnecting with what I really wanted, on my timeline.
What helped me regain my power
1. Radical accountability
I stopped blaming circumstances. Yes, some people have more support. Yes, systemic problems exist. But waiting for the world to be fair cost me time and energy that I could have used to build.
Taking responsibility for my journey—however winding, slow, or long it seemed—gave me clarity and control.
2. Strategic discipline, not punishment
Discipline doesn't mean working yourself to death. It means creating systems that work for you, not against you. I started organizing my goals based on consistency rather than comparison.
Small daily progress adds up. And it doesn't have to be spectacular. You don't need a breakthrough moment—you need a thousand quiet moments that add up.
3. Celebrate others, stay on your path
It sounds cliché, but this changed everything: I decided to sincerely cheer for people who do amazing things. It freed up space in my heart. I stopped wasting energy on comparison and put it into creation.
When you start seeing other people's success as proof of possibility — rather than competition — the game changes.
4. Rest is not failure
There were months when I hardly moved from the spot. Illness, grief, burnout, financial problems. Life just went on. But I learned that a break doesn't mean the end.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to rest without guilt. Real growth includes grace.
Real victory
There is no universal recipe for success. But here's what I know today...
- Jealousy is not a flaw—it's a signal.
- Discipline is not punishment—it's protection for your dream.
- Competition isn't always external — sometimes it's you against your old way of thinking.
- Success that comes slowly? That's usually the most lasting and soul-fulfilling kind.
To all of you who are quietly grinding away, feeling abandoned and comparing your journey to someone else's destination — I see you. You're not doing anything wrong. You're just taking the longer route. And that's okay.
Your story will be no less beautiful because it took longer to write.
If life has brought you detours, delays, or outright disasters, you are not broken. You are building resilience. And that strength? It is the foundation of success that no one can take away from you.
The next time you feel a flash of envy, stop.
Ask yourself: What do I really want? Then go create it, slowly, deliberately, in your own way.
You don't have to win the race.
Just finish your story.
And I promise you, it's going to be a damn good story.
With determination, grace, and a little fire.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation, facing unconscious jealousy? How did you deal with it and how did you get back on your path of focus?
Share your story and inspire others in the comments...
